![]() Our first introduction to Eddard Stark tells us much of what we need to know about him. ‘The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword.’. ![]() King Tommen Baratheon recuses himself, introducing his grandfather Tywin as the Judge Judy who’ll serve in his stead, as well as the other two judges, Prince Oberyn and Mace Tyrell. Jaime Lannister handcuffs his brother Tyrion and leads him from his jail cell to the murder trial. Such as? Varys silently looks over at the Iron Throne with a mischievous look. Besides, the absence of desire leaves us free to pursue other things," he tells Oberyn. "When I see what desire does to people, what it’s done to this country, I am very glad to have no part in it. Or, rather, Varys’ lack of desire for it, with or without his penis. The talk, like most things with Oberyn, turns to sex. But no longer-the Friendzoned Knight is now fully devoted to Dany.Īfterwards, Varys and Prince Oberyn Martell talk in the throne room. What we didn’t know-though we toooootally called it-is that Ser Jorah Mormont is spying on Dany for the crown. (Tywin orders Varys to get spies into Meereen.)īut we already knew all that. (Tywin orders a bounty for his murder.) The Targaryen girl has conquered Meereen with an army of Unsullied and the Second Sons, two knights, and three dragons. The Hound has been spotted in the Riverlands. Varys, the Gretchen Wieners of Westeros fills everyone in on the gossip, or "whispers," he’s heard lately: The first meeting of Small Council 5.0 is taking place in King’s Landing. Exhaustion too-she has over two hundred Meereenese left who have lined up for an audience with her. She consents, a sense of guilt visibly washing over her. He begs for proper burials for the crucified slave masters currently rotting in the sun, including his father who, for the record, spoke out against crucifying those enslaved children. ![]() Next up: one of Meereen’s noblemen, Hizdahr zo Loraq. She apologizes for his loss and agrees to pay him three times over for his lost goats, which, whatever, still not cool but OK. Theon/Reek’s scar-ridden body is as hard to look at, as the scene is uncomfortable to watch.īack in Meereen, the now goatless goat herder meets Dany and her growing résumé: First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of Meereen, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons. A reward for him for not wanting to leave with Yara. The next day, Ramsay draws Theon, uh, "Reek" a bath. "My brother’s dead," Yara says as they haul ass back to the ship. Team Yara retreats when Ramsay threatens to release the hounds on them-they leave without Theon. The men fight, the dogs bark, and Theon insists on being called "Reek." He bites Yara and runs back into his cage. "This is turning into a lovely evening"-an inexplicably bloodied Ramsay shows up with a gang of crazies just as Yara is trying to get Theon out of there. Theon inches to a back corner of the cage, shaking and screaming out in fear. He’s surprised to see Yara, but not happily: he thinks it’s a trick. Poor Theon-being kept in a cage with Ramsay’s hunting hounds-looks like a sad abused puppy from one of those Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercials. ![]() Team Yara scales the Dreadfort walls and kill their way to Theon. Ramsay, meanwhile, is having very loud sex. She rallies the troops by reading aloud the letter Theon’s torturer Ramsay Snow sent to Daddy Greyjoy along with Theon’s castrated penis. She’s where we left her at the end of season three: sailing toward the Dreadfort with fifty of the Iron Islands’ best killers to rescue her brother, Theon. Also sailing is Yara Greyjoy, the badassest of GoT badass princesses.
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